The last day

The day finally came ... my last day working. I was taken by surprise at my emotions on that last day as I breathed a huge sigh. Retirement. Sounds pretty final almost like being told you had something terminal or incurable. After 40-some-odd-years of a career I loved, here I found myself on that last day. Wasn't expecting it. Heck, I was planning on working until I couldn't or died ... and that is exactly what I got - I couldn't and it felt like I was dying.

Let's just say I did not go gentle into that good night.

No big flew-flaw, just huge resistance on my part. Now isn't when I was supposed to retire. That wasn't supposed to come till some time later, much later. Maybe never. Just later. Definitely not now.

Things change. Death, taxes and change - you can always count on them.

Now here I am. Retired.

Picking up my last box of doo-dads I walked out my office door lingering as my fingers held the handle. Tears forming as I turned and took one last look at the office that held so many memories - both good and not so good - pieces and parts of my life that were no longer to be.

Somehow all those times feeling like you could've rung someone's neck or finding yourself shaking your head at the absurdity of what was going on - didn't seem so big anymore.

Somehow I found myself missing all those times as I locked my office door for the last time.

The empty pit in my stomach was growing by the second. I quickly looked around and hastily skidaddled my way out before anyone saw me having this moment. I had planned the perfect quiet escape and so glad I declined any sort of farewell shindig. It was already bad enough that I got all choked-up saying goodbye all those other times when folks retired or left for new frontiers. I didn't want any witnesses to a complete meltdown with me being the reason for the adios and well-wishes. Wouldn't do my reputation any good.

Almost sprinting to my car, I was working hard at regaining my composure as I had a plane to catch.

Places to go ... an open-ended life to meet.

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."

Alexander Graham Bell

Little did I know that within 6 hours the door would open yet again ...